Champagne Lifestyle on a Lemonade Wage

I wish I had better excuses for why I haven't written in so long. I wish I could say I've been too "busy". I wish I could say my internet has been down. I wish I could say I have been eating too may completos, or I forgot English and had to relearn it, or maybe even that I still have jet lag. But if I said any of these, I would be lying. (Especially about the completos; you can never eat too many completos).
The truth is that I have been having too much fun. For real, I picked the right place to study abroad - it's been such an amazing experience! In 3.5 weeks I will be back in the states, which both excites me but at the same time makes me saddened. But let's not think about that for now. Let's think about...my trip to Peru!

Hmm where to begin........Let's start at the very beginning. A very good place to start.

Six of my gringo friends and I left for Peru on November 5. Our plan was to go as cheap as possible, so this meant a lot more work on our part. We planned our own travels, we booked our own hostels, we bought our own tickets, we hiked when it meant money was being saved, and we took no tours (other than one that our hostel provided, but it was only 5 soles and they gave us free shot coupons so...). The amount of transportation we took, though, is ridiculous.

First we took a bus from Viña to Santiago airport (2 hours; Total: 2) And from there a plane from Santiago to Arica (2.5; 4.5). We got yummy cheese sticks, manjar cake,  fruit, or trail mix to choose from, so that was a plus. Also there was a baby being passed around by the family next to me so that was exciting to watch. Then we took a taxi from Arica to Tacna, Peru (2; 6.5). Two of us forgot a very important piece of paper that said we had applied for our student visas, so we were a little worried when we went up to the desk. We decided if we don't even mention that we don't have it, they wouldn't notice. Thankfully it worked.

Maybe it's because we're white. 

We got to Tacna and were immediately accosted by every bus agency salesperson. Luckily our taxi driver told us which bus was the best so after many attempts to shake them off our shoulders, we finally got rid of them and got on our bus from Tacna to Arequipa (7; 13.5). The guy next to me tried sleeping on my shoulder and snoring. When he finally shifted his weight around, I made sure to snap a photo with him.

It was a joy to ride next to you,sir. 

This ride consisted of trash in the air vents, random drug checks, and non-stop vendors of "CHICHARRON CHICHARRON DELICIOSA DELICIOSA CHICHARRON DELICIOSAAAA". Man, that got annoying quick. Also they showed Scarface dubbed in Spanish and the only part we wanted to watch was the "Say hello to my little friend" scene. Our trip just happened to end directly before that scene. It's OK though, since there was 3 rolls of bread for 1 sole ($1 = 2.7 soles) where we got off. But then we boarded the overnight Cruz Del Sur bus from Arequipa to Cuzco (10; 23.5). We bought VIP tickets, which meant bigger and better seats, plus dinner and our own TV screens. We were living the life. Except I was still too tall to be comfortable...When we arrived we took a taxi from Cuzco bus terminal to hostel (15 mins, 23.75).
Our hostel was pretty legit. It turned out to be a hipster place for English-speakers and drug-users. Like I said, pretty legit.
We spent the rest of that day in Cuzco, taking a tour, buying cheap crap, and of course taking photos of everything. The 7 of us were in a room for 8, so we had one roommate. She really liked to talk, so we learned a lot about farming, recycling, tours, religion, marriage, and South America in just the few minutes we had with her. It was kind of a funny conversation, especially when she mentioned she likes to save money and not waste money on services like "that Cruz Del Sur $H!+"...
The next morning we hopped on a squishy 15-seater van from Cuzco to a little pueblo called Hidroeléctrica (8; 31.75). Yes, it was 8 hours but this was honestly one of the best parts of the Peru trip. We drove through the Andes mountains, from the foothills up to the peaks, always on the edge of a cliff. Quite possibly the closest I have ever been to death. With one small slip of the wheel, we would have all been dead. No doubt in my mind. We were all in awe of just how beautiful everything was. Literally thousands of photos between the 7 of us.

The hills were alive with the sound of Peruvian music. Or maybe that was just our pumping radio. This ride was a high point in this semester, in more ways that one....actually, in more ways than two...(coughcoughCocaCandycoughcough). Colin kept reminding us that if we did happen to all drive off the cliff and die, it wouldn't be such a bad story!
We arrived at this remote little village that was made up of pipe lines and dump trucks called Hidroeléctrica, and then we hiked to Aguas Calientes (2.5 hours; 34.25) which is now actually called Machu Picchu Village. This hike saved us a bunch of money and it was cool to be able to enjoy the beautiful nature even more.

We arrived in Aguas Calientes by sundown, so it was a really cool to be in total darkness and then see the facades of mountains being lit up ahead by the artificial light of the little pueblo. I would show you a photo but it was crappy. On this hike we also got to witness the moon rising over the peaks of the Andes mountains with the lights of the stars popping through the darkness. I would show you a photo of that too, but it was crappy. Bought Machu Picchu tix, transportation tix, and found a super tramp. I mean, we found Super Tramp, our hostel. Took showers and went immediately to bed because of our early morning.

Ugh I'm just now getting to Machu Picchu. This blogpost is getting long. Must....finish.....

We woke up at 4 AM, ate some breakfast, threw our bags in the storage closet, and headed out to get to the bus by 5. It was really neat because it had just finished raining by 5 AM so there was this ethereal mist that was dancing between the massive walls of earth we scaled.

I knew it was going to be a great day. We hiked around the ruins for an hour and then climbed the mountain (not Huyana Picchu) to get a view from above. This was a lot harder than we had realized. It was 1.5-2 hours of steep stairs. Plus, it was very disheartening because there was never any view as we climbed the mountain - it was just a wall of white. We took many breaks which gave us an excuse to take cool photos of the nature around us with our macro lenses on our cameras.

Smack Dat? No, Mac Dat. 

But we finally made it to the top and it was beautiful. The clouds were still hiding part of the ruins but it made it really interesting. And by the time we headed down, the clouds were gone and we got to see the "Classic view" (like anyone even knows what that is) plenty of times.

So freaking accurate

We spent the rest of the time checking out the ruins and taking more llama selfies. We left at noon and I was very glad to leave. Only because the amount of people there was gross. It was all old people with large sun-blocking umbrellas who would stop in the middle of the walkway to take a photo. If anyone has walked with me in a city, they know how much I HATE walking behind slow people.
We met this guy who didn't speak Spanish or English, which we thought was cool. Good thing "photo" is pretty much the same in lots of languages.

We were in a rush so we took the train from Aguas Calientes to Hidroelectrica (1; 35.25) to catch our van back to Cuzco (8; 43.25). This ride wasn't as great as it was the first time, since it was later at night so there was less of a view, and the other travelers in our van were jerks. They farted a lot and yelled at the driver and complained about literally everything. I mean, our driver did do things like play chicken with other cars around sharp curves on the edge of a very high cliff (yes, we all almost died many times), but they just made it worse. Then we found out we had been driving on a flat tire for a while, so we stopped in a little town called Ollantaytambo to fix it. It took a while to fix it and it was a very ghetto fix, but while I was waiting, I made friends with this boy named Abelar who said he's lived there his whole life and was very proud of two things; his two friends and his bike. He did tricks for me and we horsed around. It was honestly my favorite part of the whole trip. He was so precious.

Also there was a beautiful sunset. So even though many people in the car thought it was the worst ride of their lives, I thought it wasn't too bad. Some people focus on the fact that they could have died countless times. I tend to focus on the fact that I met this sweet boy and saw the sun hide itself behind the rolling hills.

We slept in our hostel that night and the next day had a while to spend in Cuzco. Colin, Alaina, and I decided to go see some ruins and Cristo Blanco, the statue of Jesus looking over the whole city. We took a van there - an even smaller and squishier van than the one to Hidroeléctrica. Alaina is 5'1" and she was near to the roof. This is not a joke. 

I repeat: This is NOT a joke. 

We arrived at the top of the hill after a 30-minute ride, stretched our necks, and illegally walked through some ruins.

OK maybe I should explain. We didn't realize we had to pay for these ones, so we just started walking through the park until some guy came up to us and said, "Where are your tickets?" to which we replied, "What tickets?" He said they were 70 soles each, and we were like NO. Then he offered them for 30 soles each, and we were still like NO. He ended up asking "Then how much do you want to pay for them?" which I thought was funny. We didn't really want to pay, so he had us leave, but sent us in a direction we hadn't been to yet, so we ended up seeing half of the ruins free of charge!

So then we met up with two others, and while they four went on a horse-back riding trip (I talked the price down, but was so poor that I didn't join them), I went to take photos at Cristo Blanco, or as we liked to say, "White Jesus", since we all know Jesus was white, right? 

I offered to take a photo of some girls who then asked me to take a photo of the whole group they were a part of. And then they asked me to join them in the photo! I was like, umm are you kidding? 

They weren't. 

Then all the girls wanted individual photos with me. I guess Jesus wasn't white enough for them...

I laughed a lot. But I guess that's not unusual. 

Then the trip home happened. Long story short: 

Taxi to bus terminal (15 mins; 43.5), overnight bus to Arequipa (10, 53.5), bus to Tacna (7; 60.5), Taxi to Arica (2; 62.5), flight to Santiago (2.5; 65), bus to Viña (2; 67). So yes, including all the waiting around in airports and bus stations we did, we traveled for more than 3 days, and the trip was only 6 days. PHEW! 

Oh by the way, I didn't think of the title of this blog, even though I wish I had. It was on a painting at Pariwana Hostel in Cuzco. It became our motto for the whole week. For real, we quoted it every time we did something cheap or free (For example, walking through ruins free or eating dinner for one dollar, OR LESS!

or more.

It was an amazing trip. I thank my friends for coming with me and making it a great experience, I thank God for keeping us safe and making our plans go smoothly, and I thank you, dear reader, I thank you and congratulate you for making it through this blogpost.